Have You Ever Wondered What It Means to “Sit with That Feeling”?

Posted on December 22nd, 2025

It’s a phrase you hear all the time, especially in self-help articles, therapy sessions, and mindful living blogs: “Just sit with that feeling.”

On the surface, it sounds simple enough. But what does it really mean? And, more importantly, how do you actually do it, especially when the feeling is something uncomfortable, like grief, anxiety, or deep sadness?

For many of us, our default setting is to run from uncomfortable emotions. We distract ourselves with our phones, binge-watch a new series, dive into work, or turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Anything to avoid the raw, prickly feeling that bubbles up inside. This is a completely natural human response. Our brains are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain, and emotions like sadness and fear are, well, painful.

But here's the paradox: the more we try to avoid a feeling, the stronger its grip becomes. That fleeting moment of sadness, when ignored, can fester into a low-grade depression. That whisper of anxiety, when pushed down, can erupt into a full-blown panic attack.

So, what’s the alternative?

The Practice of “Sitting with” an Emotion

“Sitting with that feeling” isn't about wallowing in it. It’s not about letting the emotion consume you. It’s a practice of conscious, gentle observation. It’s an act of radical acceptance.

Imagine you're watching a cloud pass by in the sky. You don't try to stop it or push it away. You just observe its shape, its color, and its movement. This is the mindset you're trying to cultivate when you sit with an emotion.

Here's how to do it:

1. Find a Quiet Space: Create a moment of stillness, even if it’s just for five minutes. Turn off the TV, put your phone away, and sit in a comfortable position.
2. Acknowledge and Name the Feeling: Without judgment, simply say to yourself, "I'm feeling sad," or "This is anxiety," or "I'm feeling frustrated." Naming the emotion can often take away some of its power.
3. Explore the Physical Sensation: This is the key. Don’t get lost in the story or the "why" of the emotion just yet. Instead, turn your attention inward. Where do you feel it in your body? Is there a tightness in your chest? A hollow feeling in your stomach? A tension in your shoulders? Be a curious scientist, observing the physical sensations without trying to change them.
4. Breathe into the Feeling: Take a deep, gentle breath and imagine you are breathing into that area of your body where you feel the sensation. Acknowledge its presence. You are not trying to breathe it away, but simply to bring gentle awareness to it.
5. Let Go of Judgment: This is the hardest part. You might think, "I shouldn't be feeling this way," or "This is stupid." Gently observe those thoughts, but don’t latch onto them. Remind yourself that feelings are not good or bad; they just are.

The Power of Presence

By practicing this, you begin to build a new relationship with your emotions. You learn that feelings, even the difficult ones, are temporary visitors. They arise, they crest, and eventually, they pass.

When you stop fighting them, you free up an enormous amount of mental and emotional energy. This doesn't mean the feelings go away forever. It means that the next time a wave of sadness or anger comes, you won't be knocked over by it. You’ll have the resilience to ride the wave, knowing that you can handle it.

So, the next time you feel the urge to numb out or distract yourself, try this instead. Take a moment. Get quiet. And just sit with it. You might be surprised by the profound sense of peace and strength you find on the other side.