Control

Published August 26th, 2025

Have you ever felt like you're in a constant battle with something?

Whether it's a habit, a feeling, or a person, the more you try to clamp down and control it, the more it seems to slip through your fingers and take over.

This is the heart of a powerful paradox:
"I know that if I'm trying to control it, it's already controlling me."

The Illusion of Control

We often believe that to have power over a situation, we must dictate every outcome. We try to micromanage our diet, our emotions, or the actions of others, thinking that this tight grip will keep things in line.

But this approach is an illusion. When you're spending all your energy trying to control something—worrying about every detail, suppressing every feeling, or forcing an outcome—you've already lost. Your focus is entirely consumed by the thing you're fighting. It dictates your thoughts, your actions, and your emotional state. In essence, it owns you.

Consider a simple example: fear. When you're afraid of something, like public speaking, and you try to control that fear by pushing it down and pretending it doesn't exist, it doesn't go away. Instead, it becomes a shadow that follows you. It controls your preparation, makes your heart race, and becomes the sole focus of your attention, often leading to the very outcome you were trying to avoid.

Releasing the Grip

The real path to freedom isn't through more control, but through letting go. This doesn't mean becoming passive or giving up. Instead, it means shifting your focus from trying to change the uncontrollable to managing your response to it.

• Instead of trying to control your emotions, try to understand them. Acknowledge what you're feeling without judgment. This simple act of acceptance robs the emotion of its power over you.
• Instead of trying to control others, focus on your own actions. You cannot force someone to change, but you can change how you interact with them. This puts the power back in your hands, not theirs.
• Instead of trying to control a bad habit, focus on building a good one. Rather than fighting the urge to scroll through social media, channel that energy into reading a book or going for a walk. The habit that's controlling you loses its grip when you choose a different path.

Finding True Power

True power isn't about dominating an external force. It's about cultivating inner resilience.

When you stop fighting the current and learn to navigate it, you realize you were never meant to control the river—only to steer your own boat.

The moment you stop trying to control something is the moment you can finally begin to master yourself.

What are you trying to control? And what would happen if you simply let go?

A Call to Action

Has this perspective sparked a curiosity or a desire to learn how you or someone you care about can benefit from such an approach?

I am here to offer guidance and support every step of the way. Take that crucial first step by reaching out today to [email protected]. 

I am prepared to assist you in navigating the path to recovery and personal growth.