Beyond Spacing Out: Unpacking the Reality of Dissociation

Posted on January 23rd, 2026

When most people hear the word "dissociation," they often picture someone simply "spacing out"—a momentary lapse of attention, a brief daydream. While spacing out can be a mild form of dissociation, it barely scratches the surface of what this complex coping mechanism truly entails, especially for those who have experienced trauma.

What we think dissociation is (spacing out) is only a small part of what it actually feels like in reality. It’s a profound disconnection from oneself and one's surroundings, a survival strategy that, while once necessary, can become a deeply disorienting way of life.

The Reality of Dissociation: A Survival Mechanism Unpacked

Dissociation is your brain's incredible, albeit sometimes overwhelming, way of protecting you from pain and overwhelm. When reality becomes too much to bear—too traumatic, too chaotic, too emotionally unsafe—your mind essentially hits an emergency eject button. It creates a psychological distance from what's happening, or from yourself.

Here's what it can actually feel like:

• Time Seems to Speed Up or Slow Down: One moment, hours have passed in what felt like minutes. The next, a few minutes stretch into an eternity. This distortion of time perception is a common dissociative experience, making it hard to track events or maintain a coherent narrative of your day.
• Uncertainty About Who You Really Are: You might look in the mirror and feel detached from the person staring back. Your sense of self can feel fluid, fragmented, or even absent. "Who am I?" becomes a question without a stable answer, as if your identity is made of smoke.
• Can’t Remember Certain Things or Events: This isn't just forgetfulness. Dissociative amnesia can involve gaps in your memory for specific traumatic events, or even periods of time where you were functioning but have no conscious recall. Your brain essentially "files away" experiences it deemed too painful to process in real-time.
• Feels Like Looking at Yourself From Outside Your Body (Depersonalization): This is one of the most classic dissociative experiences. You might feel like an observer of your own life, watching yourself from a detached distance as if you're in a movie. Your actions feel automatic, not truly your own.
• Feels Disconnected From Your Body, Surroundings, and Your Emotions: You might feel numb to physical sensations, as if your limbs don't quite belong to you. Your surroundings can seem unreal, flat, or like a stage set (derealization). Most profoundly, you can feel utterly cut off from your emotions, unable to access joy, sadness, or anger, creating a profound sense of emptiness.
• Feels Like You Are Living in a Dream: The world can take on a surreal, hazy quality. Everything seems slightly off, as if you're constantly navigating through a fog or existing in a dream state, unable to fully grasp the solidity of reality.

Dissociation: Not a Flaw, But a Feature (That Needs Updating)

It’s crucial to understand that dissociation is not a weakness or a sign that you are "crazy." It is an incredibly sophisticated survival mechanism. It literally helped you get through unimaginable pain. Your brain did exactly what it needed to do to protect you.

However, when this mechanism remains active long after the danger has passed, it can become incredibly disruptive. Healing from trauma often involves gently, and with the guidance of a therapist, learning to come back into your body, to safely connect with your emotions, and to ground yourself in the present moment. It's about teaching your nervous system that the emergency eject button is no longer needed.