Why?

Why did this happen to me?

It hurts so bad. I feel… Oh, it is too much, I cannot name it all; it feels like…

I don’t know what to do.

I stop, I breathe for a moment.

I think, do I want to continue to revel in this pain? Do I like this deep ache to be my only option?

I begin to think, what else is there?

Is there a reason to continue this pain?

I realize, why not?

I begin to question what I know and what I believe I am capable of.

Is what makes me feel good in the moment truly helping me?

I begin to question, what can I try?

I begin to question, is it facts or myself that is stopping me?

I begin to try things that I have not done before. Hmm, this is hard. It hurts, but I am doing it.

I decided to try for a while and see what happens.

Day after day, I get up and try. Some days, I start to feel strong, while other days, I feel so lost.

Now, I look back and I do not remember how long I have been working; yet, something is different.

I can’t exactly name what, but something is different.

I stop, I breathe for a moment.

I realize that through the good and bad days with the pain, somehow, I don’t know when, I am stronger.