June 2006

In June of 2006, I was hit by a drunk driver in a Porsche and flew in a Buick. When law enforcement arrived, they told me that I should be dead. I didn’t understand the extent of my injuries until the Adrenaline wore off—pain that made Oxycodone look like a joke, pain that surpassed what I thought was possible. Moreover, pain that gave me an understanding of if this is hell on earth, I am terrified of true hell and I would not wish this on my worst enemy. I did not become angry at the drunk driver. Just angry that I could not do what I could the day before and I could not kick or will my way through. It took me awhile to realize that God actually used this event to stop me from the unhealthy things that I was doing, shed some light on the inter generational trauma, and focus me on school. Technically, I finished my Bachelor’s and Master’s in Mental Health and Substance Use with fluid running down my spine and severe spasms. This time gave me an understanding of addiction of trying to cope with pain and feeling powerlessness to stop the pain. Furthermore, growing an understanding with the connection to trauma—doing anything to take the edge off and sometimes things getting worse.

The true change came from surrendering to God. God healing me when I had accepted that the pain would never end and that it would just be me, Him, and pain.

God has allowed me to be broken beyond my wildest imagination and He has also healed me beyond my wildest imagination.

Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” This foundational verse promises that God can bring good out of all circumstances, even painful ones, for those who love Him. This doesn’t mean pain is good in itself, but that God can redeem it.